I Swear I Have The Best Convos Via Facebookstatus

no dramatic intro…. i was watchin the movie role models and this is a result of that

When i get out of prison can i hang out with ur 10yr old son? lmao i love that movie

7 hours ago via Text Message Friends and Networks · Comment · LikeUnlike · View Feedback (4)Hide Feedback (4)

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    When someone offers you some
    illegal drugs, what do you say? You say, ” No, thanks.
    I’ll just have a Minotaur.”

    7 hours ago · LikeUnlike ·
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    i love ur wispering eye Matt! lmao

    7 hours ago · LikeUnlike ·
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    LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO……”THATS A VAGINA!!!!”

    7 hours ago · LikeUnlike ·
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    mom: yea get him oogie! king: shut up u whore! lmfao

    7 hours ago · LikeUnlike ·

Recession Proof Pickup Line

before the recession : “girl, i need a man will fly me all over the world buy me a house and a car and take care of me”
after the recession : “girl, he got a job! that is soooooooo sexy…and i jus found out he got enough $ to get his gas turned back on… warm showers is the best 4play” lmfao

Tuesday at 12:59pm Friends and Networks · Comment · LikeUnlike · View Feedback (3)Hide Feedback (3)

• Brandi  likes this.
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    That’s stupid!! But u know some of the guys readin this is going “Note to self, let them know the gas is on & I got hot water!” lol

    Tuesday at 2:38pm · LikeUnlike ·
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    Lmao

Unsuccessful Depression

Quote of the moment : “i jus got out of an unsuccessful depression, i say unsuccessful b/c when your depressed your supposed to smoke/drink to throw your life away but i didnt have the money to do those things b/c i didnt kno i was going to be depressed. had i known that i would have saved up to throw my life away” lmfao

Tuesday at 10:27am Friends and Networks · Comment · LikeUnlike · View Feedback (4)Hide Feedback (4)

• (KJ) likes this.
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    LOL!

    Tuesday at 10:57am · LikeUnlike ·
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    And here we go…u r sick! U make me proud tho! LoL

    Tuesday at 12:09pm · LikeUnlike ·
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    Love u too dan

    Tuesday at 12:34pm · LikeUnlike ·

Goldielocks Is Sending The Wrong Message

ok so here’s another facebook status that i thought was funny…again names are either taken out or shortened to initials

Watch what u teach ur kids. Think about Goldie locks broke in to the bears house (problem 1) problem 2 is that she went to eat up their food “this is too hot. This is too cold” BITCH! THIS AINT UR FOOD!

July 31 at 10:05pm via Facebook for iPhone Friends and Networks · Comment · LikeUnlike · View Feedback (7)Hide Feedback (7)

• (SC) and (KJ) like this.
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    Grl u must b bored. The things u come up w. Lmao

    July 31 at 10:49pm · LikeUnlike ·
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    Dnt forget she was sleepin n they beds too…& she didn’t charge em a dime!! lol I’m sry. U need NO encouragement frm me! Lol

    July 31 at 11:16pm · LikeUnlike ·
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    And u wonder why I am the way I am. Cuz of people like u

    July 31 at 11:18pm · LikeUnlike ·
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    Well then I’m proud of u!! U go girl! LoL

    August 1 at 7:43am · LikeUnlike ·
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    lmao